Surviving Rogue Waves
I live next to the Pacific Ocean. The shore is rocky, sometimes sandy but sometimes treacherous. At a few beaches, there are caution signs where the…
Our Dog, Andy
One recent afternoon, I was softly crying and cuddling Camila’s dog, Andy, for comfort when the desire to talk to Camila swept over me. I couldn’t distract myself from my…
Lighting a Candle
from “Kindness” Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. You must wake up with sorrow.…
The Beauty of Innuendo
V I do not know which to prefer, The beauty of inflections Or the beauty of innuendoes, The blackbird whistling Or just after. …
Investor, 1978-2014
When Camila was a girl, she fell in love with horses. She had the plastic pink and purple horses, the realistic molds with long manes and…
Not Losing Myself
Last night, our son Richard sent one of those internet quote-fests: a long strand of clips and quotes culled from a television series, this one focused on…
My Safe Place
When Camila was a girl, she often drew stories, simple narratives about a girl who had a dog or two friends or a love of dance.…
A Choice I Didn’t Make
I’m on a train staring at an ad for M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. That’s where the Seattle doctors briefly considered sending Camila after her relapse. I don’t…
Being Broken
During my walk with my dog today, we came upon someone else who was walking a dog, as we often do. I made polite conversation as we rounded the corner, but…
Choosing My Traditions
When I was a girl, I would read a lot and one of the things I remember reading about were the traditions associated with loss. One that…
A Compassionate Friend 