What to Remember
There are so many images that sometimes press themselves into my mind, pictures I do not want to see, moments in time I do not want to…
Visions of Life – and Longing
Yesterday was a very hot day. When I was out for my morning walk, people were already headed to the beach in shorts and suits. Some had already…
Singing in the Car with Camila
After Camila died, it took me some time to do certain things. I tossed through the sympathy cards. I wasn’t ready to be comforted, and I wasn’t ready to…
Just Say “Hello”
Sometimes in the circle we talk about ways we are greeted, things people say – and things we wished they’d say. …
Listening in the Night
In the wee hours as I slept, I was awakened by the sound of the house settling and immediately assumed Camila was getting up to go…
The Tack I Have Chosen to Take
After Camila died, I found a journal on her nightstand at home. I had come home after living with her in hospitals for ten months, so finding this felt…
Talk To Me
I am always going to miss my daughter. I am always going to be sad that she died. Her loss is permanent. It will not change.…
Milestones in the Road
I got through the holidays, and now Camila’s birthday is coming up. As people in the circle say, I’m experiencing the “first year” markers. And they hurt.…
Fill Your Heart with Love
Everyone develops coping mechanisms, things they do to help them get through the days and the long hours of the night. When I began trying to…
Prepare for Success
When Camila’s cord blood transplant was only two weeks away, she came out of remission. We moved from Transplant back to Oncology, and there met a…
A Compassionate Friend 